Bookstore Junky
by Chester1
Summary: This pretty much shows me and my friends lives when we get a really good book. Okay where not this bad but almost. All you Anne Rice fans out there can relate, maybe, or me and my friends ARE the psychos everyone says we are.


1 Bookstore Junky  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the invisible man, the characters therein, or Anne Rice's name. Due to Mrs. Rice's announcement that any and all fanfiction in accordance with her book is prohibited I thought I would take the time to say I am not in any way trying to disrespect her wishes so much as show my eternal addiction to anything with her name on it. (I sounded professional, didn't I?)  
  
Author's note: This fic pretty much describes my life from day to day when I get a new Anne Rice book. And to all of you (If there are any) who don't know who she is, don't talk to me or anyone who knows me in person…you might not survive. (Bookstore service is strictly for Hobbes' torment)  
  
PS. Short and sweet Chapters.  
  
1. Where DO you hide?  
  
Hobbes knocked on Darien's door once and then reaching for the spear key expecting to find the unconscious form of his partner, when the door opened.  
  
"Hey Fawkes, I…"  
  
Hobbes stopped when he realized that Darien, absorbed in a book, had no idea that Hobbes was alive.  
  
"what are you reading?" Hobbes bent down trying to see the cover.  
  
"Merrick." Darien said not looking up.  
  
Hobbes walked over to the counter to get some coffee. While looking around he saw that the bed had not been slept in. He immediately looked to Darien's attire. The same thing he wore yesterday.  
  
"Did you stay up all night?" Darien shook his head yes. "You know we have a big assignment today right?"  
  
Darien grabbed a bookmark that was on the couch beside him, absently knocking off one stack of books that had accumulated around him. He marked his book and turned to Hobbes. "Hobbes, let me explain something to you…the only reason I answered the door is because the obsessive knocking was creating a ring in my head that couldn't be ignored or in other words for silence--"  
  
"Well I only knocked once--"  
  
"You could have been Stark and I wouldn't have given a crap. In fact, I would have been up on my luck if it were Stark."  
  
"Well…"  
  
"See he would have put me in a cell and I could have gotten to read in peace, but no, I get Mr. Talks-a-lot who's ready for a game of twenty questions about my sleeping and reading habits."  
  
"I…" Hobbes tried to object.  
  
"Let me tell you something, I have been reading for two days, do you think that a petty assignment at my JOB will get me to put that book down?" Darien was now standing.  
  
"No?" Hobbes asked sheepishly.  
  
"Well I was thinking more on the lines of hell no. but just no will work." Darien grabbed his book.  
  
"Lets go I'll read in the car…I can always find a quiet place to hide at the agency."  
  
Hobbes looked up fast. "By the way, how do you get away so quickly?"  
  
"Well Hobbes I have a gland in my head that makes it where I can go invisible at will, remember?"  
  
"Yeah but where do you go?" Darien just smiled and walked out the door.  
  
2. Who's your rain man?  
  
By the time they got to the Official's Office Hobbes' nerves were on edge. Darien at different points in his book had shouted 'Omigod' 'No!' 'What the hell…' or something to that effect the entire time.  
  
The Official stared at Darien while quietly talking to Hobbes. Eberts was trying to read over Darien's shoulder. "When did this start?"  
  
"I'm guessing yesterday, sir." Hobbes sipped his Coffee. The Official looked up at him. "Suggestions?"  
  
"Postpon the assignment until he's finished." Hobbes shrugged. "What?"  
  
"Well sir if he tries to work like this he'll get us both killed." The Official sighed.  
  
Darien jumped out of his chair knocking Eberts back in his seat. His left hand left his book long enough to rush to his mouth to muffle his scream. "Nooooo!!!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"The guy… and then he…and then…Omigod!" Darien made sure that there were hand gestures to make up for his lack of Vocabulary.  
  
"come on Rain Man. You can finish your book in the Keep."  
  
3. That mistake could come back and bite you…  
  
Hobbes led Darien down to the Keep. "Hey Keep, Do you care if Darien finishes his book down here?"  
  
"Sure what are you reading?" Darien didn't look up. "Merrick.  
  
The Keep immediately stopped and turned to Darien. "You read Anne Rice?"  
  
Darein marked his place and looked up at her. "I'm reading through my collection now."  
  
"Me too!" Darien ran over to her. "Please tell me you have Blood and Gold." Claire smiled. "Witch cover do you prefer? Paper or Plastice?"  
  
Darien smiled now. "Would you really let me borrow it?" Claire leaned in. "Only if you bring my baby back."  
  
Darien looked affended. "I would never steal a Rice book. It's cruel and unusual punishment."  
  
Hobbes looked confused. "So where are you in Merrick?"  
  
"Where the dude…"  
  
"Oh and he…"  
  
"Yeah and then"  
  
"Oh I love that book."  
  
"Yep. But don't say how it ends even though I've read it like a trillion times…It still gets me every time."  
  
"I would never take that from a fellow Rice fan." Claire and Darien bowed playfully, then they looked to the completely lost Hobbes. "If your going to ask who Anne Rice is, Don't, I repeat, Do not ask me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Claire looked at him. "Bobby When you come across two people who can communicate about story plots the know so well it takes only a few words you don't ask who their favorite author is…"  
  
"Yeah you find out and buy them the next book in the series they need before the mistake comes back and bites you."  
  
Claire and Darien broke out in laughter. Darien stopped short. "I am so serious. I need Blood and Gold. Keep what one did you need?"  
  
"Violin."  
  
"Good one."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Excuse me kiddies. How am I going to remember the names?"  
  
Claire and Darien handed him a piece of paper with the names on it. Before he could object he was out the door with a sudden over powering fear for his life…  
  
4. A shrine to all things Rice.  
  
Hobbes walked into the bookstore and looked around. "how do you find anything in this place…It's all full of…books." A little man walked by. "I'm not sure. I've been in here since 1994." "Hobbes was yet again afraid for his life.  
  
~*~  
  
Claire walked Darien over to a shelf Darien never really noticed before. "Okay, since you never know what could happen and if you ever need a book, come here." Claire pushed on the shelf witch opened up to two sets of the complete collection. "It's like a shrine to all things Rice." Darien kneeled.  
  
~*~  
  
An Hour later…  
  
Hobbes set besides the man whom he had come to know as Jack. "So what are you in for?"  
  
"Well my friends threatened my life if I didn't get the next book in their series…"  
  
"Me too. They wanted Space invaders or something. I lost the paper a few years ago."  
  
"You know that series was cancelled right?"  
  
"Crap!"  
  
"Looks like you don't know Jack…Jack."  
  
~*~  
  
Claire ran over to Darien who was biting his fist and for some reason had stopped breathing. "Darien just Breath." Darien took out the book mark and closed the book. "Oh…my…God…"  
  
"I know."  
  
"Oh…my…"  
  
"Yeah I got cha…God."  
  
"Now I know why you have the extra copies…it's so clear…I mean one of them could fall apart in your hands after the repeated reading. They don't have the life span of the eternal characters they so purely portray."  
  
"Yeah it's a pity." Darien grabbed Claire's hands. "What If something happened to your copies? I have to call Hobbes…"  
  
5. The wall of Fame  
  
Hobbes pulled out his cell phone. "Bobby Hobbes."  
  
"Hey Hobbes. Change of plan. We need the whole collection."  
  
"What I don't have the names…"  
  
"Just buy anything that has the name Anne Rice on it…"  
  
~*~  
  
Darien looked to Claire. "He hung up on me."  
  
"don't worry he'll do it. Come here I want to show you something."  
  
Darien walked over to Claire's computer where he was met by 'The Queen of the Damned' Official site. Darien's mouth dropped. Pull up a chair. We have movies to order and pictures to drool at."  
  
~*~  
  
Hobbes grabbed the nearest attendant by the collar. "Listen to me. I am a Federal Agent. I have been looking for Anne Rice books for two hoursNow you are going to tell me where it is."  
  
"Y…yes sir."  
  
"Don't forget me when you get there."  
  
"I won't Jeremy."  
  
"It's Jack…"  
  
"Right Jack. I won't forget you."  
  
They came to the back wall. "Here you are sir"  
  
"This is it?"  
  
"Yep. The Wall of Fame. Sometimes we have to stock this wall three times a day."  
  
"I'll take a collection. No wait." The attendant looked at him not at all in shock at the order at hand as Hobbes had expected. "Make that three."  
  
6. where's the next one?  
  
Hobbes walked into the keep, boxes in hand. "There you go. Don't say I never got you anything." They tore over the desk for the boxes. "Darien do you know what this means?"  
  
"Read Fest?"  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Where'd Hobbesy go?"  
  
~*~  
  
Back at Hobbes' Apartment after a call to the bookstore telling them to get the j-word guy his book or tell him to get out, he opened the third box and started reading 'Interview with the Vampire.'  
  
Two hours later…  
  
"OMIGOD! Where's the next one?!?!"  
  
The end.  
  
Please read and review. If not my story, Anne Rice has a few, oh say 23 stories that are drop dead good reading… 


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